My Identity

Well, the insanity of moving has given way to the sleepiness that comes from stress suddenly lifting. We made it to San Francisco yesterday after driving 1850 miles in less than 48 hours. That was a marathon I am not ready to repeat anytime soon, and I was glad to spend much of today on the phone walking around, just for a change. It is wonderful to finally be here permanently, though it would be nice to have our stuff here as well.

As any new beginning, the first question upon finishing up a task is “now what?” I have been taught and trained to be a pastor, but there is still a doubt that says “what do I have to offer these people, what makes me think they will listen to me.” Before coming here I can’t remember how many times I heard comments about how people were confused I was going to an “Asian” church (once they managed to force me to talk about ethnicity at all), or people making sure I knew I would be living in an “ethnic” neighborhood, or how wild Californians, people in the West, or San Franciscans are.

And somewhere in my mind, like in all of our minds I think, those doubts linger. Can I really do this? Will I be able to fit in and minister in San Francisco? But doubts will always be with us, what matters is that we push through them anyway, and that we recognize that we have more that brings us together than pulls us apart.

Coming from Kansas to California, we went through quite a few states. In order, they were: Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah, Nevada, and California. Each place was very different, each with its’ own cultural identity. When someone asked us where we were from we told them our state, and that person’s opinion of us was based on whether they thought Kansas was impressive or not (most did not, obviously). These people’s primary identity was with their state, or sometime with their city. They were Americans, yes, but Nebraskans first.

We also have an identity we share, one that pulls us together far more powerfully than state lines, country divisions, race, or sports teams. We love the same God. And just as people are drawn together by the love of their sports’ teams or state, we too are drawn together by the love wee share for our God.

The question, though, is whether this love is going to be our primary identity or not. I was alienated from some people when they found out I was from Kansas, and yet other people placed higher value on my being an America, or liking football, or sadly even the color of my skin. What these people defined themselves as changed what drew them to people.

If I am a white, young, middle class, Oregonian/Alaskan/Kansan, American, then there is little reason for anyone to listen to me that does not also fit that bill. But if I am a Christian first, and everything else second, then I can be drawn together with people who have nothing else in common with me, and together we can draw closer to the God we all are seeking.

Identify ourselves as Christians first, everything else second, and we will never be alone in this world again. No matter who we are with or where in the world we go, brothers and sisters will be waiting.