Authenticity

I had a most interesting experience this past Sunday. A very well-meaning Christian lady came up to me and started talking about how lovely San Francisco was, and how much she loved visiting there. But then she immediately went on with how hard ministry must be in San Francisco and how everyone speaks their minds there and does so many crazy things, and how horrible that was. Then she ended with “you do know there’s a gay community there, right?”

I really didn’t know what to say to all of this. Yes there are a lot of people doing things and living in ways that much of the rest of the country would find to be crazy. So what? Those people, whether liberal, conservative, environmental, Buddhist, or homosexual, are not putting on a show (usually) for people, they are simply living what they believe to be true, and living it out in the open, but what’s wrong with being true to yourself?

Of course this is a scary idea for some Christians because much of American Christianity, I hate to say, involves putting on a show and a mask. Christianity is presented as “don’t you want people to think you’re like this?” without anyone actually becoming anything other than what they started as. Of course a city that does not need or wants masks, a city where people are willing to be authentic about what they believe and who they are, would be dangerous to this way of “Christian” living that relies on people pretending to be something they aren’t.

But I don’t find that concept scary at all, because I truly believe that Christ can and will change our lives if we let him. And if people are authentic in San Francisco, then wonderful, because that just means we have to be real as well. It means that perhaps like no other place in this nation Christians actually have to live what they preach instead of just assuming people want a disguise to hide their real face from the world and pretend everything is perfect.

I certainly hope that San Francisco can teach Christians all over the nation to be honest about what they believe and who they are instead of merely pretending to be who they are “supposed” to be. I believe Christ died to save us from ourselves and change us, but that change takes a lifetime and we shouldn’t hide our struggles when we have them, we shouldn’t pretend to have something we don’t, and we certainly shouldn’t put on a show only so more people will come through our doors.

We should live our lives, together, authentically, in service to God as best we know how. And if that makes me crazy too, then I suppose I’m glad we’re heading to San Francisco.

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God Will Guide

I am a young pastor, and while I have been associate pastor for several years, and an interim senior pastor for a while too, I have never before held a full time senior pastor position. I should be quaking in my boots, but I’m not.

We don’t have a place to live yet, we don’t know the area, and we don’t have a way of getting our stuff to San Francisco. And we leave in a month. Yet I am completely ok with that. Before we leave I need to finish a year-long animation project, pack our apartment, clean, finish a master’s class, and prepare for the new church. But I am completely sure that God will lead me through this insanity I like to call a life.

Maybe if you knew how I came to this church you’d understand. When I first applied for churches I really felt that the ones San Fran and Sacramento are in were the ones I needed to apply for first. I also hedged my bets and applied to some 30 other districts, though. Before I sent out a single application I prayed that God would not leave me hanging without any options, but would lead me to where I was supposed to be, and I felt that God would do that.

When I got the call from the District Superintendent (high mucky muck) for the San Fran (Northern California District Church of the Nazarene, technically, but San Fran Dist is so much easier to type) I was told of three churches that were open and without praying, immediately wrote off New Start (where I am the pastor of now). I didn’t pray, didn’t think, just wrote it off as a bad fit.

And so another door opened up, with a decent church, but not the right fit for me. Then another option opened and immediately the first one closed. This continued for five months, with each church a better fit, but still not that good, and right before one possibility ended another would begin.

Then one day I was sitting waiting for a different DS to call with the vote of a church board when Dr. Calhoun (DS of Northern California…. Etc) called with the idea that perhaps I should take another look at New Start. I knew that another door was opening up and 15 minutes later the first DS called and before he said a word I told him the church voted close, but just barely against me and he agreed (though he was quite shocked I knew that).

After going to meet these people and interviewing with them and talking with them I cannot imagine a better church for me. The people are awesome, the situation is good, the setting is nice, the theology and culture are things I am comfortable with, it’s just amazing. And I am sure that God provided one opportunity after another until I finally came back around to where I was supposed to have been in the first place. And if God can keep my hopes up and lead me for six months because of my stubbornness, I am sure God can help arrange a simple move across country.

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Why the Title?

I figured that the title of this blog is odd enough that it deserves some explanation before I do anything else. For the last year now I have had the tag line of this blog as my MSN Messenger tag line as well. And yes, that is Koine (Biblical) Greek that you should be seeing it in up top. There is such depth to this simple saying that I find myself returning over and over to think and meditate on what is means.

"Lord" in Greek is a direct appeal to God through Jesus Christ. We do not have to go through anyone or anything else. When I am feeling like my prayer are hitting a brick wall or when I am am just hearing other Christian leaders talk about their special way of reaching God, their plan that ever good believer should follow, I think back to this simple word. I do not have to talk about God, I do not have to go through anyone else. I can speak simply and straight to my Lord, me God.

"have mercy" in Greek is an appeal, a request. And the way it is formed it is a request for mercy over everything. I have such a hard time occasionally remembering that I am really completely forgiven. There aren't little pieces of my life that God refuses to forgive, that God won't heal me from. When I ask for mercy, for forgiveness, I get it, and I get it on everything I ask for. This is request, "Lord have mercy" is a prayer directly to God asking for forgiveness, love, and peace over everything we have done. It is asking for God to be kind to our failings, forgive us, and love us anyway, even though we know we have been morons. And God will grant that request.

"on us". So often I lose sight that while I can know and love God, and be known and loved by God, in a personal way, I am not walking this path alone. My sins are not unique, my troubles are not unique, not even my successes are unique. We are walking this path together, and the troubles of my brother and sister should bring me to prayer as quickly as my own. We are in this together.

"Your children" is the final phrase and what a phrase it is. There is this idea floating around Christianity that God is out to get us, that we are indentured servants who work off our sins to God through serving God during our lives. That is not true. We become God's children, loved and cared for as any child. We do not earn this gift of love and mercy. Instead, it is freely given and what we do is not out of trying to pay God back, but is because those we love we try to serve.

There is almost always some part of this saying that I need to remember, and believe. And so as this blog is mainly the spiritual musings of a young pastor I thought it was appropriate to title it one of the sayings that I most frequently muse on. That way I don't have to post on it every other day when some part of it makes me think or reminds me of something I have forgotten.

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